June 30, 2011
As you probably have guessed, the sudden happenings of our life kind of overtook my devotion to the blog. I know many of you have been waiting for an update since April probably. I do have a large sense of guilt in that some of you probably think I’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. Please know that I have not and that it’s not personal! God has taken me on a bit of a journey the last few months and while I’ve missed some of you soo sooo deeply. I’ve laid in bed wondering about you and become an insomniac of sorts over it. This has definitely been a season of purging. God’s been using this time to show me some things and I’ve been using this internet-less time to work like mad so that I can spend the fall/winter hopefully catching up with you all. I’ve stopped in a couple times briefly to rattle off the facts without much comment. I’ve had so many blog entries logged in my brain but never quite got them down in type. I should tell you that it’s 2am right now and a restless night of insomnia has left me here. Laugh. We have no internet (where we’re living now) so I’ve grown accustomed to saving emails, etc in Word to send/upload when I get time to stop at a restaurant with WIFI.
I think part of me has been relieved at the whirlwind of events surrounding Ellie’s new diagnosis. I do enjoy keeping busy and the last 2 months it’s been a way to keep my mind on the tasks at hand. It’s kept the fear at bay some, I think. Ellie had 3 bad nights a couple weeks ago. During all three, she cried in pain with her fists clenched at her chest. I know she wanted a drink one of the nights but I couldn’t get her to take the water bottle from me; even when I tried to uncurl her fingers and put them around the bottle. I held her, afraid that this was “IT” … the day she lost hand use. I held her and fretted until she finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. I laid in bed afraid, wondering how we’d adapt if one day that was the only thing she could do with her hands. Sigh. As I sit here, I’m tearing up thinking about that but with certainty that we’d manage to cope. I know it sounds cheesy but I really do find some comfort in knowing that God has a plan. I’m not a plan-a-holic like my friend, Tab. ;) I generally can roll with the punches. With Ellie, I find myself micro-analyzing her every move until I remind myself that I don’t have to “know” or “plan” or “predict” the future because God already has it done. Not that I don’t worry, but I’m learning to let Him carry what I know I cannot. Yet I’m still a work in progress.
Ellie turned 5 last week. She’s our Summer Solstice baby, born the first day of summer. While summer was definitely welcome in Iowa, I approached Ellie’s 5th birthday with some anxiety. Turning 5 is like turning over a whole new leaf and it does make me nervous. Ellie’s going to start school this year, which is huge for a Momma that’s taken care of pretty much all of her care for the last 5 years. Letting her go off with strangers for 8hrs a day gives me a bit of an anxiety attack. I know it’s a natural and essential part of development but I kinda like having all the control! Ellie’s going to be at a local school that’s big enough and has enough funding to give her everything she needs. She’ll be in a classroom with of 13 with 3 or 4 adults. I know that 4 of the children in the room have IEP’s and the other 9 are Headstart, “typical” kids. I’m not sure what my days will be like with only Eva. I’m sure it will change the dynamics of things around here! Eva kinda gets shorted on her “baby of the family” status because of Ellie’s needs. It’s amazing how things change and how kids adapt so much more naturally than adults. Eva’s really taken the roll of middle child in our family, she doesn’t get to be the needy, baby of the family very often. I chuckle at how both of the girls have become little therapists; imitating all the things they’ve seen and heard at our therapy time with occupational, speech and physical therapy. Emma played school with the girls a couple days ago and as she explained to me how she modified curriculum for Ellie (and very appropriately, I might add) I smiled and wondered if maybe some teachers could take lessons from her!! Emma’s a very logical girl. It was amazing to see how naturally she modified her “school,” keeping it “fair” to Eva by not changing things too much but still allowing Ellie to succeed.
Ellie turned 5 last week. She’s our Summer Solstice baby, born the first day of summer. While summer was definitely welcome in Iowa, I approached Ellie’s 5th birthday with some anxiety. Turning 5 is like turning over a whole new leaf and it does make me nervous. Ellie’s going to start school this year, which is huge for a Momma that’s taken care of pretty much all of her care for the last 5 years. Letting her go off with strangers for 8hrs a day gives me a bit of an anxiety attack. I know it’s a natural and essential part of development but I kinda like having all the control! Ellie’s going to be at a local school that’s big enough and has enough funding to give her everything she needs. She’ll be in a classroom with of 13 with 3 or 4 adults. I know that 4 of the children in the room have IEP’s and the other 9 are Headstart, “typical” kids. I’m not sure what my days will be like with only Eva. I’m sure it will change the dynamics of things around here! Eva kinda gets shorted on her “baby of the family” status because of Ellie’s needs. It’s amazing how things change and how kids adapt so much more naturally than adults. Eva’s really taken the roll of middle child in our family, she doesn’t get to be the needy, baby of the family very often. I chuckle at how both of the girls have become little therapists; imitating all the things they’ve seen and heard at our therapy time with occupational, speech and physical therapy. Emma played school with the girls a couple days ago and as she explained to me how she modified curriculum for Ellie (and very appropriately, I might add) I smiled and wondered if maybe some teachers could take lessons from her!! Emma’s a very logical girl. It was amazing to see how naturally she modified her “school,” keeping it “fair” to Eva by not changing things too much but still allowing Ellie to succeed.
I made contact with 2 different companies that sell eye-gaze devices. PRC was the most customer friendly and helpful and honestly that speaks to me, chuckle. Sharron is a speech therapist AND a rep for the company and was so helpful and understanding. We’re waiting for a device to come in so that we can “trial” it for a portion of the summer. We’re hoping we can have it until we get funding through to buy one! J We were so close to buying a touch device. After hearing all that I did about apraxia at the conference in Boston, I decided we needed to get an eye-gaze device or at the very minimum a device that could have eye-gaze added in the future. We started doing some low-tech work with a piece of plexi-glass and pictures behind it. We’re starting some data collection on how well Ellie can use her eyes for communicating, an essential part of getting insurance to pay for a device. I am really loving the changes we’ve made this month with speech therapy!! Laura is a wonderful asset to us at this point and I love how flexible and willing to rework things and to go with new ideas she is! The other girls and I spent this week’s session in the waiting room, for the first time. I think it went really well and may become our new norm. I think it’s easier for Ellie to concentrate and focus without the extra noise, movement and competition that the other two bring to the room. Having 3 hrs of quiet time to work with WIFI access was REALLY nice too!!
Ellie’s wanted so badly to be able to ride a bike for the past 2 summers. This summer she’s finally getting a new bike! We’ve started saving through our waiver program to buy a Kettrike. This specially designed bike has extra safety features along with things that will make it easier for Ellie to learn to ride and will make it easier for us to push/steer her. It’s also a bike that will grow with her for the next several years. We’re really excited about it! I’ll take pictures as soon as it’s here!!
Ellie’s wanted so badly to be able to ride a bike for the past 2 summers. This summer she’s finally getting a new bike! We’ve started saving through our waiver program to buy a Kettrike. This specially designed bike has extra safety features along with things that will make it easier for Ellie to learn to ride and will make it easier for us to push/steer her. It’s also a bike that will grow with her for the next several years. We’re really excited about it! I’ll take pictures as soon as it’s here!!
We’re making progress on tornado cleanup. It’s slow and tedious but we’re moving forward. Getting power back to the house has been such a frustration to me. It’s still not powered back up yet. It’s something I just cannot do on my own and so it’s just not getting done. In spite of my persistent pestering, we’re still without power – I’m not nagging but seriously it’s been almost 3 months!! – After yanking up glass-filled carpet I decided to hire BV Custom Floors to refinish the hardwood in the living room, hallway and all 3 bedrooms. I’m SOOO glad! Tim did an amazing job on the floors. The final coat of finish went on last weekend and at any point this week we can start moving furniture back in! *So all of you that have offered to help clean, scrub, and paint—I’ll need you soon!!** I’m so excited to be rid of carpet!! I promised Emma a fluffy rug for the center of her room and we’ll probably get one for each bedroom. I can’t wait to get back home! I’m so behind on everyone else’s lives – BOY HAVE I MISSED FACEBOOK!! So, the next few days are filled with hauling the remainder of iron from Pork 76 (last summer’s rehab.) We had the second half of the hog unit taken down this week. We’re hoping this makes the place more marketable as it will give us about 4 acres of tillable ground that we’re planning to plant to soybeans.
The source of a lot of my excitement the last few months has been English classes with The Bridge. I’m the English Coordinator and I teach one morning a week. It’s a huge source of joy for me. I absolutely love my students and my co-teachers. We’re have 9 classes per week and have 7 students in our morning classes. It’s been wonderful for me to be able to use my education/expertise in a way that serves and reaches out to the immigrant population of Storm Lake. I’m so excited about the ministry God has given us and the opportunities I’ve been given! J I could spend a week telling you all about each student and their personal stories and struggles and praises. They are my friends on a level that I don’t think I’ve gotten to experience enough in my life. I love the women I teach. I really, really, love them. These ladies have been through so much and yet I see how raw and openly they love and they make me do the same. I don’t feel the need to protect myself from them. They’re real and straightforward and we just mesh together without holding back. It’s so obvious to me that this was God’s plan and that his work is being done through The Bridge and through our English classes. It makes me joyful. J
I’ve thought so many times over the last last few years about the book I’m someday going to have to write. In the last few months I’ve decided it may have to be a series. Chuckle. So much has happened, changed, shifted that this hour and a half of writing (it is now 3:30am) seems like I’ve only skimmed the surface!
We’re heading out West soon. We need some time to just walk away from the endless work and we won’t unless we leave. I can think of a million things I should do instead but I know they’ll all be waiting for me when we get home!
Thanks for reading and caring.
Blessings,
Thanks for reading and caring.
Blessings,
Angie
