Honestly...

I don't think I've ever said "this sucks" as many times as I have in the last 90 days. Those of you who know me well know that I pride myself in not being among the "criers." I can laugh about it now though... through tears. I spent the first hour after diagnosis hiding in my mother-in-laws bedroom crying my eyes out. Why in my in-laws bedroom you might ask? I really wish it were not part of this Rett journey... really! Nine days before we got "the call" that put us into this new Rett World, our farm was leveled by a tornado. You know I've sat and wondered... I've questioned... I've guilted... but seriously the timing just sucked. I mean there are some things in life that cannot be better described in any other manner... sometimes things just suck. I've tried being really optimistic and hopeful and I just can't pull it off on my own. I have such an immense wave of emotions surrounding life right now but mostly anger and mourning. So in the midst of my internet-less life that seems to be in this hazy-limbo between homes and worlds... I'm starting this new blog. Mostly because the old blog www.fightautism.webs.com just doesn't make sense any more. I'm trying to decide if a diagnosis of Rett means that we beat autism. Chuckle.